Hey everyone!
I've been in Baltimore for a good 2 1/2 weeks now, and even though I have had a lot of free time, I still feel like my life is hectic. We're still in the "settling in and figuring it out" stage. I've wanted and needed to blog in order to get my thoughts together. Before I get into talking about all of my experiences in Baltimore, though, I want to return to LVC orientation. It was a truly exhausting 4 days of meeting people, having deep conversations with strangers, undergoing anti-racism training, attending lectures, and discussing business with housemates. I really pushed myself to the limits of my sanity trying to stay up until 2 AM and then getting up at 6:30 or 7 AM every morning.
In a previous blog post written on one of my orientation nights, I wrote about heterosexism in America. This post was mostly a response to one of the talks we attended, which was led by my very awesome regional director, about sexism and heterosexism. Her talk made a huge impact on me. At one point, she said the following:
I am a bisexual. I am also a Catholic. I quite enjoy Mass every weekend. A lot of people don't understand why I would stay in a church that wants to deny gay people the right to marry the person they love. But here's the thing: I grew up Catholic. This is my community. Mine. My own. I am not going to let them PUSH ME OUT just because I am different. I wrote a letter to the Pope the other day asking him to reconsider the church's stance on gay marriage. All my friends are like, "He's never going to respond!" Hahaha.
It may have been just an anecdote to her, but this way of looking at things had never occurred to me before. I, too, grew up a Catholic, but I began to be disillusioned with Catholicism as I grew older. I fundamentally oppose much of Catholic doctrine. I don't agree with the church's stance on gay marriage, birth control, sex before marriage, divorce, the fact that women can't be priests (which I take to be sexist), and a few of their other attitudes/ teachings as well. I always said to myself, "Why would I stay in the Catholic church if I don't agree with it 100%?" I always believed that staying in the church would mark me as a person who owned all of those beliefs, and I didn't want to give others the wrong impression about what I believed. But my regional director's talk gave me a whole new perspective. Her idea makes so much sense. After all, if everyone who disagrees with Catholic teachings leaves the church, it will never change. What the Church needs are members who will strive to reform it from the inside out--who will challenge it from within. After all, why would church leaders feel compelled to listen to "sinners" or "heretics" from "over there"? Why would the church listen to "those gay people" or "those feminists" or "those prostitutes"? The church needs to recognize that it is isolating and ostracizing many of its OWN...many who would love to be a part of its celebrations and draw strength from Jesus' teachings. It is pushing away many young minds who could contribute to its congregations and make it stronger.
Anyway, I thought about it for a while, and I might consider rejoining the Catholic church if I considered it to be "my community" (and thus felt like I was being pushed out of my community). But at this point, I don't really feel any strong connections with any parish or any parishioners. As such, I am going to use this year to try to find a faith or a faith community or a regular spiritual practice that suits me well. So far I have discussed spirituality with my housemates in our "spirituality nook" and have attended a Unitarian/Universalist church service. I intend to explore spirituality/faith/religion a lot more this year. But props to my regional director for her excellent perspective. It answered a question I have had for a long time, and it certainly gave me something to chew on.
I'll probably be writing a couple more blog posts in the upcoming week. Until then, let's drink to new perspectives with the famous beer of Baltimore, "National Bohemian" (Natty Boh)!
Love you all,
Margaret
